Karl Rovian Math 101

Donald Rumsfeld has stepped down. Democrats have won a sweeping majority in the house of representatives and as Webb declares victory in Virginia and Tester pulls out a victory in Montana, it seems that the Senate is falling into Democratic hands as well.

Republicans are famous for pointing fingers at their foes, while circling their wagons around their friends. They yell at Clinton for his extra-marital exploits, but try to burry Foley’s predatory advances on congressional pages. They refuse to talk in detail about military opperations, but leak the names of clandestine CIA agents as soon as they become a political threat.

Then there is the Republican outrage over “New Math” and “Fuzzy Math” back in the earlier days of their regime. It seems that they have always claimed to have a copyright on the one and only true math, but they’ve never come right out and said it quite so much as Karl Rove did on October 24. Rove, in an interview with NPR’s Robert Siegel, insisted that he had access to a far greater number of polls than the average person, and that any suggestion that Democrats would take over either house of congress was laughable because he was using “the math”.

Well, MR. Rove, I think you need to go back to the fourth grade because you either forgot to carry a one, or you rounded WAY the hell up when you should have rounded down. I sincerely hope that you are not the one creating the curriculum for the “no child left behind” act.

Below is the transcript of that interview:

MR. SIEGEL OF NPR: We’re in the home stretch, though. And many might consider you on the optimistic end of realism about –

MR. ROVE: Not that you would be exhibiting a bias or anything like that. You’re just making a comment.

MR. SIEGEL: I’m looking at all the same polls that you’re looking at every day.

MR. ROVE: No you’re not. No you’re not!

MR. SIEGEL: No, I’m not –

MR. ROVE: I’m looking at 68 polls a week. You may be looking at four or five public polls a week that talk about attitudes nationally, but that do not impact the outcome –

[Rove is claiming access to secret polls that he never cites any data from, indicates the origin of, or otherwise documents the existence of. When asked for examples of races Republicans are winning, Rove turns to races we all know they're winning based on "public" polls. Needless to say, thousands of public polls report on individual races, not just "attitudes nationally".]

MR. SIEGEL: — name races between — certainly Senate race

MR. ROVE: Well, like the polls today showing that Corker’s ahead in Tennessee; or the race — polls showing that Allen is pulling away in the Virginia Senate race.

[Yes, we knew about those, Karl. But those still leave the Republicans losing the House and possibly even the Senate.]

MR. SIEGEL: Leading Webb in Virginia. Yes.

MR. ROVE: Yeah, exactly.

MR. SIEGEL: Have you seen the DeWine race and the Santorum race and — I don’t want to –

MR. ROVE: Yeah. Look, I’m looking at all these Robert and adding them up. And I add up to a Republican Senate and a Republican House. You may end up with a different math, but you’re entitled to your math. I’m entitled to “the” math.

2 thoughts on “Karl Rovian Math 101

  1. There is a clear and simple answer to his secret polls. It’s so clear, I don’t understand why your not getting it?!

    Every day, he walked down and asked Bush, and Bush Sr. How they felt about the republicans in each State. So 50 states times 2 Bushes in favor of the Republicans in each state divided by the number of coffees they had consumed is, hold on, carry the zero, multiple by e. Ok, got it.

    2000% of the United state’s population is in favor of the republicans. Oh and thats with a +/- 1% based on illegal aliens.

    Now don’t you feal silly?

  2. “And I add up to a Republican Senate and a Republican House.”

    It makes me smile to know that this smug bastard, whose success in the last three elections was based on fraud (2000), fear (2002), and homophobia (2004), has finally gone down in flames. Sadly, America didn’t realize it hated the war two years ago.

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