Burton Snowboards Rallys Boarders to Poach Fascist Resorts

Alta and Deer Valley in Utah, and Mad River Glen in Vermont are the only remaining ski resorts to maintain a ban on snowboards and riders have had enough of it. Poaching, a form of protest which involves sneaking in and snowboarding down the mountain despite the restriction has become commonplace at these resorts, but now Burton has stepped up and offered a $5,000 reward to the best video of a poached run on these slopes. Submitted videos can be seen here.

Some skiers are pretty up in arms about it, but I think it’s pretty cool. I am more of a casual snowboarder, but I have to confess that I am seriously considering poaching Mad River Glen because it has a wonderful “stick it to the man” quality about it. I especially like that Burton instructs poachers on how to avoid breaking laws while protesting with the “Poacher’s Ten Commandments”. It just smacks of the old school “SKATEBOARDING IS NOT A CRIME” stickers that I used to plaster everywhere.

It should be known that Taos Ski Mountain has lifted its ban on snowboarders, so we are down from four to only three.

Until snowboarders everywhere are free to ride where they want to ride, until the snow and the slopes of this great nation have been purged of the scourge of segregation, until the four elitist, fascist resorts lift their draconian bans, there shall be no rest, no justice, and no peace.

In the face of this blatant and aggressive disregard for the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States of America, poaching isn’t simply a peaceful form of protest, it is truly your patriotic duty.

-Jake Burton

8 thoughts on “Burton Snowboards Rallys Boarders to Poach Fascist Resorts

  1. If people who snowboard could possibly go down a mountain without doing stupid tricks and annoying the snot out of everyone else, there wouldn’t be a ban. The fact is, people who snowboard like the asshats in this video are the cause of the ban in the first place. Honestly – smacking people in the ass as they go down the mountain? Why do snowboarders have to ruin things for everyone else?

    Having said that, the resorts should have banned asshats, not snowboards.

  2. hey wandering pig fucker, skiers go down the mountain doing so called “stupid tricks” and they annoy “the snot” out of everybody by going back and forth on the whole god damn slope. Oh and snowboarders dont ruin it for everyone its fag^$*% like you that cant get a good laugh out of a little fun. Laugh a little and enjoy life pri*&.

  3. ChazMan,

    Why do you have to hate on skiers so much? I don’t even ski (I’m an occasional boarder) but the message I get from Burton’s campaign is to increase the love and share the mountains. It’s all about getting outside, breathing in the fresh air, soaking up as much vitamin D with the tiny bits of exposed skin and having fun.

    That said, if you or any other stranger tries to grope me on the slopes, I will track you down and go all kung-fu on your ass.

  4. The problem with snowboarders is they get on a slope that is too steep for them, so they turn sideways and scrape any good snow down to the ice beneath. To some extent this happens with skiers who snowplow also, but for some reason you see many more snowboarders scraping their way down the hill instead of carving a decent turn.

  5. I don’t care what you do to the commercial resorts in Utah. But, Mad River is special and you have no business messing with it. Mad River is old school and you have to respect it. You may not like it, but you have to respect it. Mad River is not commercial. It is a co-op. Read this from its web page:

    Mad River Glen became one of Vermont’s first major ski areas when the Single Chair began carrying skiers to the top of General Stark Mountain in 1948. From the very beginning, Mad River Glen has been unique, a place where skiing is a sport not an industry, working with nature not against it. Mad River Glen began a new era in 1995 when its skiers came together to form the Mad River Glen Cooperative. The Cooperative works to fulfill a simple mission:

    “… to forever protect the classic Mad River Glen skiing experience by preserving low skier density, natural terrain and forests, varied trail character, and friendly community atmosphere for the benefit of shareholders, area personnel and patrons.”

    In an age when the ski industry is becoming increasingly consolidated and homogenized, America’s only skier-owned major mountain bucks the trend by remaining independent and preserving a brand of skiing that exists nowhere else.

    Got it. Stay away from Mad River.

  6. i think that Chaz Man says it best. u are a genious of words and has the best answer out of all of these. im nowhere near any of these places. but if a local slope around me stopped me from snowboarding i’d be pissed as fu*^. good luck guys!!

  7. Snow being scraped away is definitely the worst part. and I have no problem with GOOD snowboarders. but bad ones do tend to go on steeper slopes than they should and f up the trails for everyone. if people just recognized their abilities there wouldn’t be any hatin’! seriously though 3 mountains you can’t board at. out of how many? give it a rest.

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