Karl Rovian Math 101

Donald Rumsfeld has stepped down. Democrats have won a sweeping majority in the house of representatives and as Webb declares victory in Virginia and Tester pulls out a victory in Montana, it seems that the Senate is falling into Democratic hands as well.

Republicans are famous for pointing fingers at their foes, while circling their wagons around their friends. They yell at Clinton for his extra-marital exploits, but try to burry Foley’s predatory advances on congressional pages. They refuse to talk in detail about military opperations, but leak the names of clandestine CIA agents as soon as they become a political threat.

Then there is the Republican outrage over “New Math” and “Fuzzy Math” back in the earlier days of their regime. It seems that they have always claimed to have a copyright on the one and only true math, but they’ve never come right out and said it quite so much as Karl Rove did on October 24. Rove, in an interview with NPR’s Robert Siegel, insisted that he had access to a far greater number of polls than the average person, and that any suggestion that Democrats would take over either house of congress was laughable because he was using “the math”.

Well, MR. Rove, I think you need to go back to the fourth grade because you either forgot to carry a one, or you rounded WAY the hell up when you should have rounded down. I sincerely hope that you are not the one creating the curriculum for the “no child left behind” act.

Below is the transcript of that interview:

MR. SIEGEL OF NPR: We’re in the home stretch, though. And many might consider you on the optimistic end of realism about —

MR. ROVE: Not that you would be exhibiting a bias or anything like that. You’re just making a comment.

MR. SIEGEL: I’m looking at all the same polls that you’re looking at every day.

MR. ROVE: No you’re not. No you’re not!

MR. SIEGEL: No, I’m not —

MR. ROVE: I’m looking at 68 polls a week. You may be looking at four or five public polls a week that talk about attitudes nationally, but that do not impact the outcome –

[Rove is claiming access to secret polls that he never cites any data from, indicates the origin of, or otherwise documents the existence of. When asked for examples of races Republicans are winning, Rove turns to races we all know they’re winning based on “public” polls. Needless to say, thousands of public polls report on individual races, not just “attitudes nationally”.]

MR. SIEGEL: — name races between — certainly Senate race

MR. ROVE: Well, like the polls today showing that Corker’s ahead in Tennessee; or the race — polls showing that Allen is pulling away in the Virginia Senate race.

[Yes, we knew about those, Karl. But those still leave the Republicans losing the House and possibly even the Senate.]

MR. SIEGEL: Leading Webb in Virginia. Yes.

MR. ROVE: Yeah, exactly.

MR. SIEGEL: Have you seen the DeWine race and the Santorum race and — I don’t want to –

MR. ROVE: Yeah. Look, I’m looking at all these Robert and adding them up. And I add up to a Republican Senate and a Republican House. You may end up with a different math, but you’re entitled to your math. I’m entitled to “the” math.

Political Parties With Awesome Names!

In order to overthrow the tyranical Republican leadership, I’ve been towing the Democratic line pretty hard since the 2000 elections, in which, along with many others, I voted for Ralph Nader and unwittingly helped Bush and his cronies to power.

Despite my year 2000 voting embarrassment however, I remain a proponent of a political landscape that features a broad array of political parties. In practice, we have to unite behind the Democratic party to neutralize Republicans, but in theory I strongly support minor parties, and I remain saddened that they are relegated to obscurity by our two-party system.

Never the less, if America had a state where the effectiveness of a multi-party system could be demonstrated, Vermont would be that state. We have more independents holding elected office than any other state in the union, and the major parties have proven that they can, and do unite behind minor party candidates that have sufficient public support and similar political platform.

My political slant is no secret, so it was with great joy that I opened my ballot this year and discovered two candidates running under very provocative party names: Dennis Morrisseau, running for US House under the “Impeach Bush Now” party, and Peter Moss, running for the Sennate as the “Anti-Bushist” candidate.

My vote went to Peter Welch and Bernie Sanders respectively, but I love that I live in a state where an “Impeach Bush Now” party can exist.