Arkansas Woman Blames Heat On Daylight Savings Time

UPDATE: The item depicted and quoted below was indeed a letter to the editor of Arkansas Democrat-Gazette on 16 April 2007, but Snopes tells us:

“It was not intended to be taken literally, as its author, Connie M, Meskimen is a Little Rock lawyer known for penning sarcastic letters with tongue planted firmly in cheek.”

Looks like you got us Connie! Apparently the fact that the paper published it caused quite an outrage amongst its readers. Well, at least this explains why the letter was written fairly well. Still, I shudder at the thought of how many neo-conservatives ignoramuses down there must have read it (or tried to read it) and found themselves agreeing, in whole with its premise. Thanks to Murphy for pointing out the Snopes article.

Pople are constantly finding new levels of idiocy, but this Arkansas woman who blames Daylight Savings Time for the hot weather demonstrates a truly stupefying lack of intellect! Connie M. Meskimen is apparently convinced that the hot weather she has been experiencing lately is caused by the fact that Daylight Savings time started about a month early this year. Then, as if this vacuous assertion was not enough, she goes on to surmise that the legislation responsible for moving Daylight Savings ahead on the calendar was a ploy by the “liberal congress” to “make us believe that global warming is a real threat”.

Telling Connie that she needs to check her facts seems mind-numbingly obvious! Aside from her needing to realize that Congress, no matter how liberal, can’t alter the rotation of the Earth, she needs to remember that it was the Republicans that passed this ridiculous legislation!

Anyhow, here is the article:

Prank Letter

Prank Letter


Hat Tip: Courtney for the great find!

If you can’t read the image for some reason, here is the text:

Arkansas Democrat Gazette
Letters

Daylight exacerbates warming

You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two.

This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know Daylight Savings time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they?

Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects.

CONNIE M. MESKIMEN
Hot Springs

Bush Has Record Low I.Q.

Everyone knows that George W. Bush is a blithering idiot, but now we finally have some data, albeit fake, to back it up.

Apparently the Lovenstein Institute (does not actually exist) has been tracking presidential I.Q. for some time and George W. Bush is right where he belongs at the bottom of the barrel. Coming in at 91, he’s just slightly dumber than his father who managed to come out some seven points ahead of him at 98.

It turns out that this is a hoax, but it makes for a pretty funny story anyhow…

Via the Original source:

Since 1973, the Lovenstein Institute has published its research to the educational community on each new president, which includes the famous “IQ” report among others. There have been twelve presidents over the past 50 years, from F.D. Roosevelt to G.W. Bush, who were rated based on scholarly achievements, writings that they produced without aid of staff, their ability to speak with clarity, and several other psychological factors, which were then scored using the Swanson/Crain system of intelligence ranking.

The study determined the following IQs of each president as accurate to within five percentage points:

In order by presidential term
147 Franklin D. Roosevelt (D)
132 Harry Truman (D)
122 Dwight D. Eisenhower (R)
174 John F. Kennedy (D)
126 Lyndon B. Johnson (D)
155 Richard M. Nixon (R)
121 Gerald Ford (R)
175 James E. Carter (D)
105 Ronald Reagan (R)
098 George Bush (R)
182 William J. Clinton (D)
091 George W. Bush (R)

In IQ order
182 William J. Clinton (D)
175 James E. Carter (D)
174 John F. Kennedy (D)
155 Richard M. Nixon (R)
147 Franklin D. Roosevelt (D)
132 Harry Truman (D)
126 Lyndon B. Johnson (D)
122 Dwight D. Eisenhower (R)
121 Gerald Ford (R)
105 Ronald Reagan (R)
098 George Bush (R)
091 George W. Bush (R)

The six Republican presidents of the past 50 years had an average IQ of 115.5, with President Nixon having the highest at 155. President G.W. Bush rated the lowest of all the Republicans with an IQ of 91. The six Democrat presidents had IQs with an average of 156, with President Clinton having the highest IQ, at 182. President Lyndon B. Johnson was rated the lowest of all the Democrats with an IQ of 126. No president other than Carter (D) has released his actual IQ, 176 (rated as 175 by the Lovenstein Institute).

Among comments made concerning the specific testing of President GW Bush, his low ratings are due to his apparently difficult command of the English language in public statements, his limited use of vocabulary (6,500 words for Bush versus an average of 11,000 words for other presidents), his lack of scholarly achievements other than a basic MBA, and an absence of any body of work which could be studied on an intellectual basis. The complete report documents the methods and procedures used to arrive at these ratings, including depth of sentence structure and voice stress confidence analysis. “All the Presidents prior to George W. Bush had a least one book under their belt, and most had written several white papers during their education or early careers. Not so with
President Bush,” Dr. Lovenstein said. “He has no published works or writings, which made it more difficult to arrive at an assessment. We relied more heavily on transcripts of his unscripted public speaking.”

Bloggers Run Condoleeza Rice out of NYC

All over the net, people are talking about how the Bush Administration’s failure to respond to Hurricane Katrina might prove to be the downfall of his administration. Based on his failures in Afghanistan, Iraq, Sudan, and the Gulf Coast, it is certainly clear Bush and his Neo-Conservative followers have become damaged goods, and some are even calling for him to “resign in shame“.

While reading Zach’s story “Is Katrina Bush’s Waterloo?” I found a link to a New York Times story that reports how bloggers, demanding answers about the Bush administration’s failure to act, chased Condoleeza Rice out of the city where she had been shopping for shoes and enjoying plays rather than responding to the death and devastation in New Orleans.

It would be one thing if President Bush and his inner circle – Dick Cheney was vacationing in Wyoming; Condi Rice was shoe shopping at Ferragamo’s on Fifth Avenue and attended “Spamalot” before bloggers chased her back to Washington; and Andy Card was off in Maine – lacked empathy but could get the job done. But it is a chilling lack of empathy combined with a stunning lack of efficiency that could make this administration implode.

Everywhere we look, this government has failed us. During his time in office, Bush has staged a war built on lies against an imagined enemy, perpetuated a fear of terrorism in order to exert social control, and eroded our civil rights, while padding the pockets of his executive campaign contributers. There can be no doubt that this administration is corrupt and incompetent, and I, for one, do feel he should resign.

Real-Life Derek Zoolander

Since leaving the desolate wasteland of PHPNuke for the bountiful fields of WordPress, I have become quite a fan of the software, and regularly visit developer Matthew Mullenweg’s site “photomatt.net” to see what’s going on with with WordPress development. So, you can imagine my surprise when instead of going to photomatt.net, I mistakenly went to photomatt.org and discovered a real-life Derek Zoolander.

For those who have seen the movie “Zoolander” the hilarity of Matt Blalock’s headshots will become instantly apparent. For those of you who have not, Derek Zoolander is a dumber-than-a-stump male model character played by Ben Stiller who has names for all his “looks” and wants to build “The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids That Can’t Read Good”.

Apparently poor Matt is having a “phase” and has had to take down his old site due to some male model frustrations. He says:

Sorry to disappoint you all, but I’m currently going through a bit of a “phase” and I’ve pulled down all of the material that was on this site in order to bring you something that I actually enjoyed. Yes, I enjoyed the last site just fine and dandy but I want something different. So please bear with me while I get it all redesigned and reuploaded.

But luckily for all of us he has kept his photos up for a “Special Someone”.

For a special someone…my photos are still on the site…click the smileie!!

WOW, Matt! That person must sure be special for you to go all the way from tearing down your website because of a tragic “phase” to “my photos are still on the site”! Hopefully you get through your “phase” without too much trouble.

Then he says:

Here ya go….all for you. My photos. Sorry they’re not all small and stuff, that takes work and you know how I’m crunched for time these days. However…I think you deserve them since you asked.

Don’t worry Matt… We understand how rough it can be to thumbnail images for the web. We’re just glad the pictures are still up.

Unlike Derek Zoolander, Matt has not named his “looks”, so I have taken the liberty of naming some of the better ones for him. Feel free to comment if you have better names than the ones I’ve come up with.

Smug Iceman >
Ponderous Fusion >
Notable Intensity >
Cold Fission >
Icy Hot Killa >

How long until we see the “Matt Blalock Center for Kids Who Can’t Compose Photos Good”, or the “Matt Blalock Center for Hilarious Headshots”? I can’t wait!